I guess I must have in some level, without knowing for sure. On Friday I realized all that happened.
[Subconsciously tried to keep the monster at bay and lost, only realizing that when it was too late. It wasn't great for her mind because despite everything, she's not so jaded she didn't find horrifying what she did. Truthfully she was very nervous all Friday]
0/10 stars, don't experience it yourself. It's awful.
[Especially because...]
Guess I blocked that out until it couldn't be held back anymore. I recalled on Friday all I did, when I had blood on my hands from that sack I found.
[All that blood in her hands really must have broken through the defenses her subconscious had set, because let's be honest, what she did to her victim was not clean and nice. That must have ended with blood in her hands too back then.
The human mind is quite something, when it's trying to protect itself!]
It was Ichiban's blood but I guess it reminded me of Karma's. Using that pitchfork was very...ugh.
[The investigation left her with gore on her hands, making her feel a weird, eerie sense of familiarity upon the sight. Seeing her hands coated with red while lucid forced her to confront her actions of that night, done on Karma, that most likely also included very bloodied hands]
Hell no. I'd rather still be kicking and screaming. I refuse to let something get away with screwing me over.
[Erin is stubborn enough to think it's definitely for the better she didn't lose her mind entirely. The lucidity comes with a heavy, almost crushing feeling of impotence because let's be real, the monster got away with its goal of murder, but she vastly prefers the awareness to having lost her mind to the monster invading her]
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Are you, now.
Have you been doing that since Monday?
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[Subconsciously tried to keep the monster at bay and lost, only realizing that when it was too late. It wasn't great for her mind because despite everything, she's not so jaded she didn't find horrifying what she did. Truthfully she was very nervous all Friday]
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Struggling to be yourself? Maintain sanity?
Were you even aware of yourself at all that Thursday night?
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[Especially because...]
Guess I blocked that out until it couldn't be held back anymore. I recalled on Friday all I did, when I had blood on my hands from that sack I found.
[All that blood in her hands really must have broken through the defenses her subconscious had set, because let's be honest, what she did to her victim was not clean and nice. That must have ended with blood in her hands too back then.
The human mind is quite something, when it's trying to protect itself!]
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[ My late night shenanigans and everybody being at the beach, crazy. ]
...I've seen things like this. I think it must be worse that you get to keep your lucidity in the end.
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[The investigation left her with gore on her hands, making her feel a weird, eerie sense of familiarity upon the sight. Seeing her hands coated with red while lucid forced her to confront her actions of that night, done on Karma, that most likely also included very bloodied hands]
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[ He just goes back to silence again, softly miserable. ]
Cruel, isn't it... would it just be easier to lose your mind entirely?
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[Erin is stubborn enough to think it's definitely for the better she didn't lose her mind entirely. The lucidity comes with a heavy, almost crushing feeling of impotence because let's be real, the monster got away with its goal of murder, but she vastly prefers the awareness to having lost her mind to the monster invading her]
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I do have to commend you for that, at least.