recession | scawwy ✦ caelus

[ Help... Daan lost to cows...

Anyway, you ever stood in front of a cow? They are terrifyingly large and Daan seems to be considering that fact now that he's face-to-face with it. ]

Thank Alll-mer they are, because if this cow chose aggression, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't survive.

[ ...A very careful pet... she just chillin', minding her own business. ]

[ does it help that the mods said they are rounder than a regular cow? or does it strike another, more distinct type of fear into daan's heart? ]

I'll protect you if they choose violence.

[ the cow flaps her ears tenderly. no sense of immediate aggression. ]

Have you visited a ranch before?

[ Fat cow... ]

Please don't bash them with your bat.

[ Even though it would be funny, it's like playing pinball but terribly. ]

I haven't. Where I lived before, it was a pretty large city. Would've had to go out to see a ranch, and there wasn't much reason to.

[ HEY! he didn't say anything about bashing the fat cows!

noted, though. he will use alternate means of subduing the farm animals if it becomes an issue. ]

Everything here seems a step off from what I know. The sheep look like puffergoats.

Edited (vernacular fussiness) 2024-06-20 17:53 (UTC)

That seems to be the case in a handful of people's cases... these animals are pretty familiar and normal to me though.

What's a puffergoat like?

[ Trying to imagine this... ]

Their milk is really good. They look a lot like these sheep with black heads and legs.

[ he does not clarify that he knows this from their cartoon illustrations

anyway: looking at sheep thoughtfully. and milkfully. ]

Goat cheese is pretty sought-after...

[ So this doesn't read as a weird comment to make to him.

But this look from Caelus DOES. Somehow he read the word 'milkfully' in the cosmos, beamed straight into his brain, and he's frowning. ]

Are you planning something...

I never plan for long. I act swiftly.

[ preparing his squeezing hands with small finger bend exercises ]

Can you please stop and think about it first before you decide to do what I'm pretty sure you're about to do.

[ SIR? Should've just binged Dungeon Meshi and then idk brought Laios so he could encourage this wholesale. ]

Do you even know how to?

[ freezing, fingers crooked. ]

It can't be that hard.

[ we can live our dreams. it's never too late. we just ask mods in the next game to make sure there are milkable creatures. ]

Edited 2024-06-21 03:06 (UTC)

[ He

would not know well enough to actually just be like no you absolutely shouldn't without coming off as some weird stranger hardass. ]

Just be careful? These animals are pretty big. Feels like if they got upset at you, you'd be a goner.

[ he is not scared of the bubbly sheep or the round cows, but he is wondering whether upsetting them would make him feel bad. daan has finally hit the pause button. ]

Maybe I'll leave it to the professionals.

[ they gotta have one farmer in the forty-person group. surely. one person who has touched livestock. ]

Yeah... that would be the smart thing to do.

Maybe you could ask around, see who knows a thing or two about it. I think Ms. Hawke does.

Hawke--I mess up every time I talk to her. I always ask the wrong question.

[ caelus briefly shoves his face into the side of a cow.

the cow appears unaffected.

muffled, but audible, ]

And she's so nice about it.

[ the worst part ]

...Do you?

[ He is wondering what in the heck you guys have talked about. ]

She is pretty relaxed, all things considered.

She doesn't hold it against me.

[ he's not giving deets without nosy asking, but for free, the vibes are: oh god oh no oh god oh no ]

That does sound like her, yeah.

[ He wouldn't have asked if Caelus wasn't giving off such stressed energy. ]

...What did you say to her...

[ rips face away from cow to look at daan with this look ]

Half the questions I ask, the person they're about is dead. That's not a good ratio!

[ it will never get its phd ]