scawwy ✦ karlach cliffgate

[recession]

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[recession]

I was happy. Even for a little while. I told you, she deigned to say yes to me.

[ Though maybe if I'd never met her... if I never met the Baron, showed him Sylvian magic was real and it exists... then he would've never reached his level of obsession. Maybe he wouldn't have killed her. ]

I'll never forget nor regret those years, but they're all in the past.

[ablazement]

Bet you'd get really mad at me if I said that to you. If I said it was my fault Gortash threw me to the Hells and that my life and happiness is all in the past.

[her tail flicks, agitated.]

Don't be stupid. None of that was your fault.

[recession]

Circumstances aren't universally applicable, Karlach.

[ I don't want to think it. But it's hard not to. ]

Prescribing you the wrong medicine doesn't fix the illness.

[ablazement]

[another - rush of angry jumbled thoughts.]

That's why I've been looking for the right medicine.

[recession]

I think it'd be nice to find it.

[ He has never thought otherwise, but he also can only search for so long. Letting Karlach have it instead -- it's like a painkiller, and that's better than nothing. ]

[ablazement]

It'd make me happier to see you find it.

[she sighs, bringing a hand up to rub at her face.]

I think you know me well enough at this point, Daan, that I'm never going to be content with being the only one that's got something to look forward to.

[recession]

I do know.

[ But that's kind of it, right. That's all he can really say. He doesn't bother with the empty promises if his thoughts are just going to betray him anyway. Chin up, you're not alone -- he always says, to anyone but for himself. ]

[ablazement]

[it's all either of them can say, and it makes her sad. it makes her iron heart ache in her chest, hot and uncomfortable. she grimaces, hand coming down to rest over that instead.]

Laudna said I can only give people hope if I believe in it myself, so. I guess I'll... I'll just keep trying for that. Hard as I can.

[recession]

[ He wonders if that's true. After all, so many of you bitches believe in him, tell him his words give you all hope -- and he's long since lost that sort of things days before Prehevil, before he ever showed up in this camp at all. But that's a ponder for himself, because in the end, he'll never deny anyone else their own light. ]

I've said it before, but it hasn't changed.

It's really impressive how much you've held out so far.

[ He's watched so many people slip or splinter behind the scenes, people who seemed bright and infallible. Being able to stay that stalwart, to pick yourself back up again -- it's a strength invisible yet more important than anything else. ]

[ablazement]

[she's definitely taken some of the things he's said and held onto them, but none of it felt untrue, is the thing. none of it felt like placating or lies to get her through. what laudna said was one of those things she's taken to heart, too. keep hoping, so other people can. be an example. be a light. don't burn out.]

A lot of people have told me that. [she thinks about it. hears similar sentiments in her thoughts, a gathering of voices - geto, rondo, astarion, more.]

Thanks, I think. It's something I like about me.

[what a novel thing, liking yourself. that's not a thing for more than half the characters i play.]

[recession]

[ Love yourself bitch etc etc. ]

You're worth liking.

[ablazement]

[a little smile.]

Wish you knew how good that makes me feel to hear.

[recession]

I'll take your word for it. I can read between most lines.